Turkish Relationship/Divorce - Page 4

pineapple1 · 9th February 2010, 09:59

Shirley hubby and me have ups and downs too , like all marrisges , But i've met in Marmaris two ladies in the situation i discribe and it dose go on Shirley and quite often too , This young woman allready has doubts otherwise she wouldn't ask the question , Plus he wants her to buy a house , Note he didn't ask her to rent one !!!! Something about this makes alarm bells ring in my ears , Of course i could be wrong ! You are happily married to your Turkish hubby , and i with mine even at a distance , But if i can at least prevent one broken heart then its better i speak than keep quiet , Niether you nor I married a visa geezer !!! Its a bit like these tapu's things prevention is better than cure , So if she,s told about it then the choice is hers to make but at least she now knows these things exist , So those are my beans . .... Hope to see you soon , .....Diane

jane2005 · 9th February 2010, 10:37

Arrrghhh, so refreshing to see you lot being as friendly as ever. Missed ya.

Istanbul_expat · 9th February 2010, 11:31

Firstly, a good post from Celtic! Yes, more people than you think get divorced in Turkey. My hairdresser and two of my neighbours spring to mind. But it does depend where in Turkey and for example in Anatolia, divorce is much less common than in say, Istanbul. Usually where the family are traditional and the woman does not work after marriage, she is afraid of being left without a man to support her and also afraid of being viewed as 'damaged goods.' Although this is changing, there are still whole swathes of Turkey where this view is still held.
As for more than one marriage; quite correct the law here is secular and not Islamic and therefore only one legal wife is permitted. But yes in the East and in Central Anatolia, more than one nicah (hope I spelled this right) is allowed. That is a religious ceremony to make the union valid under Islam but this nicah is not a civil marriage and therefore no property rights or anything else official would attach to it. There are reasons why this is done in Islam - marrying a young widow, the first wife is barren, the couple do not love each other for a long time and other reasons. I know one or two people in these positions and they keep it quiet as it is frowned on in the big towns but it does have practical and cultural reasons.
As far as choc is concerned (if this is a real post and not a troll) then for me the only alarm bells that would ring is the one where he asked her to buy a property.

pineapple1 · 9th February 2010, 11:53

Thats the bit i don't like either buying property , ... i hope i'm wrong , we don't know the circumstances of how they met , or if she has met his family ect , Like Shirley i've been to my husbands house several times and stayed there with the family ,
I have also had the pleasure of meeting Shirley , and have much respect for her ....Diane

shirleyanntr · 9th February 2010, 12:29

[quote=Istanbul_expat;362528]allowed. That is a religious ceremony to make the union valid under Islam but this nicah is not a civil marriage and therefore no property rights or anything else official would attach to it.

actually this is not strictly true..the constitution was changed to allow women married by the İman Hoca Nikah to have rights and claims...and also importantly the children of the marriage

perfect1949 · 10th February 2010, 08:19

i know a lady that did the same as your thinking of, and she lost all her life savings , and the turkish man did a runner

Yalides · 10th February 2010, 08:25

Who wants more than one wife ? Must be a masochist if you do.

kernowians · 10th February 2010, 08:38

I think that they should get married, Then we could have some sort of sweepstake as to how long it will last.

cynical[not me]

pineapple1 · 10th February 2010, 09:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by kernowians

I think that they should get married, Then we could have some sort of sweepstake as to how long it will last.

cynical[not me]

I Agree i also think they should get married and i'll be maid of honour and collect the money and gold at the wedding ............then i'll do a runner save him the trouble , ........but i think we're talking to a troll .......Diane

lesley northall · 10th February 2010, 10:13

One of our Turkish neighbours ( a professional person) was married for 16+ years to a lovely turkish lady. In June she went with the children to their home in Istanbul at the beginning of the school holidays, I saw him in June after they left, in September we saw a different lady at the apartment, with his son and mother during Ramadam. When we went back in January we were told she was his wife, so from June to September he had divorced and remarried. Another Turkish friend told us that if both parties are in agreement you can divorce very quickly. Just hope the new wifre doesn't want a baby as she looks younger than him.