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Old 1st December 2011, 23:13   #1 (permalink)
R.I.P
 

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Harry

firstly, i want to thank you all for your wonderful messages of support and kind thoughts. the response has been overwhelming, and i am deeply touched by how kind you all are.

i thought i would tell you briefly what happened leading up to Harry passing away.

as many of you will know, he has been suffering from severe emphysema for a long time, and recently he has had another chest infection which hadn't cleared up.
on sunday he spent the day watching grand prix, he wasn't too good, but didn't seem any different to other times.
he then started to come into the lounge, but only got as far as the dining room when he shouted for a chair, he then just said 'ambulance', so i knew something was definitely wrong.

i phoned for an ambulance, he was taken into a & e and then moved to a ward. by this time he seemed to have recovered a lot, but they wanted to see about this infection.

i left the hospital at 9pm, and at 1 30am the police came for me as he had worsened. when i arrived they were taking him for a ct scan on his brain, he had, it seems, suddenly collapsed without warning.

the ct scan shown there was extensive bleeding on the brain.

the next few days all my family stayed at the hospital, until finally the consultant came and explained in more detail what had happened. the medication etc etc had all been stopped, but they asked me if i wanted to have started on liquid feed again, but i said 'no'. they couldn't do any more for him, if he had wakened he might have been paralysed or a vegetable, and that would have been too cruel, and my family agreed with me, so he was taken to a side room.

last night i asked the family to go home and get some sleep, and i spent the night with him on my own.
i think he was waiting for them to go, so they wouldn't see him and become too upset, and at 5 45 am he simply stopped breathing.

very peaceful and pain free.

i have had numerous private messages from lovely people, and i hope you will understand if i don't answer just yet as there are too many.

my love and eternal gratitude to you all.thankyou.
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Old 1st December 2011, 23:23   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Harry

Arrian to know Harry went peacefully will, I hope be of some comfort at this sad time. You have many happy years of times together, and you, are an inspiration to all of us who have partners, there, but for the grace of God go we, if we ever have to care for our partners in the way in which you have done, despite your own health battles this past 12 months, and all I said in my p.m I mean it, anytime. xx
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Old 1st December 2011, 23:31   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Harry

Arrian, I had to go through a similar experience with my dad 10 years ago, we too decided to let him go, as to keep him alive would have been just for us and unfair to him. The decision is hard but as you know it is the right thing to do.

take heart from the fact that he is now free from pain and at rest.

take care and look after yourself. xx
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Old 1st December 2011, 23:32   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Harry

You are so brave to share this at a time that must be so raw for you

There's nothing we can say to ease your pain, but hopefully you will get some comfort in the knowledge that so many people are thinking of you

Val xx
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Old 1st December 2011, 23:32   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Harry

god bless you x
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Old 1st December 2011, 23:39   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Harry

Arrian, thank you for coming on and telling us about your dearest Harry.
I think it has been proved today Arrian, the esteem in which you are held, with so many expressing their deepest sympathy and their hopes for you personally in the coming days.
A very touching thread with many personal hopes for you and your family.
The following days will be filled with much sadness but do try to remember the happy times to lighten your load and heavy heart.
Thinking of you Arrian on your loss and thinking of you with your ongoing battle.
Love and best wishes to you and the entire family. Sharon xxxxxxxx
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Old 2nd December 2011, 00:03   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Harry

Arrian you are one remarkably brave woman.

Bless you.

((((hugs))))

saffie
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Old 2nd December 2011, 00:20   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Harry

Loving awareness transcends , your love endures.

Steve.
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Old 2nd December 2011, 02:31   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Harry

Hello, I have never posted before, I log in every day. Your post has inspired me to post as I lost my dad last year and your post brought it all back to me. It is a hard time, I still can,'t get over it, similar circumstances. Hope things get better over time, sincerely.
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Old 2nd December 2011, 07:24   #10 (permalink)
R.I.P
 

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Re: Harry

How very brave of you Arrian to post about Harry & share your experience. I worked in Intensive Care for years & saw daily the turmoil loved ones went through when faced with decisions about the continuation/discontinuation of treatment. I think that the decision that you made was the kindest & most humane. I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now, but am thinking of you & your family & hoping that you have the strength to get though this.

Louise x
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