For many years I have been partially deaf, it is getting worse as I get older. It is inherited my mother and now my brother are the same. I have tried various hearing aids but to be honest when you need them most when you are out in company the surrounding noise is too much and you can hear better without them.
Having surfed the internet I came across the following article which I thought might be helpful for those hearing people who have to live with us deafies. I do not think that hearing people realise how lonely it is not to hear what is going on around you. I have reached the stage where I do not bother to listen a lot of the time.
So here are a few basic rules to follow when someone informs you that they are a bit deaf, hard of hearing or hearing impaired and as I said, I’ll use myself as an example:
* Look at me when you want to speak to me. Even with my expensive, high end hearing aids, I still rely heavily on facial expressions and watching your mouth form words.
* Don’t yell at me. When I say I’m a bit hard of hearing it does not mean you have to scream at me. What it does mean is that you should raise your voice a bit more but more importantly, slow down some and articulate your words. In other words, speak clearly and as if you were lecturing a small group of people gathered in a room say the size of the dining area at a small Taco Bell. ( Have no idea what a Taco Bell is?)
* When attempting the above, please don’t talk to me as if I were a child. This is not what I mean by speaking more slowly and clearly. Telling your husband to slow down some when you’re taking a drive through the countryside does not mean he should slow to 18 mph or so. It just means stop doing 60 and try for 45…I’d like to see some scenery here. I’d also like to understand what you’re trying to get across to me without falling asleep or wanting to punch you in the nose.
* Don’t mumble. For God’s sake, don’t mumble.
* Don’t look at your shoes, the wall, the lake, the sun, that girl’s…well never mind, look at me.
* Understand that you can stand beside me and speak to me as long as you’re facing me. I don’t have to be directly facing you, just as long as I can see your face in my peripheral vision I can do alright.
* Do not speak to me while walking past me (ie: tossing remark over your shoulder) and expect me to understand or to even acknowledge you. Stop, face me, speak then continue on your way.
* On the same token, do not turn and walk away from me while until you finish with what you’re saying. If you do I’m likely to forget you ever started in the first place.
* Most important. Make sure I acknowledge what you have said before heading off. I have spent the greater portion of life having to ignore the surrounding noise of people talking in my general vicinity simply to keep myself from going crazy with frustration. I used to be able to hear these conversations if I chose to. Now all I hear is noise.
* I am not stupid or slow. My ears are.
* Try not to take advantage of my hearing loss by thinking you can talk about me while I’m present in the room with you and whoever else you’re talking to. I can hear certain peoples voices if the voice is pitched just right. Besides, it’s just plain rude.
* Please understand…I absolutely hate saying “what?”.
* And if you’re the type of person who hates to repeat themselves tough! You can hear…I can’t
Perhaps this will help some of you.
