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Old 3rd February 2014, 11:52   #1 (permalink)
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Cooking for Dummies

This thread really should be called ‘What did you f** up Tonight’ but didn’t want it to be relegated to the Padded Room.

It’s great skimming thru the ‘What did you have Tonight?’ thread – there’s a wealth of unshared talent out there. But what about those (myself included) who try and fail miserably?

Let’s keep it simple, no “I popped down to M&S and bought a packet of whatever”.

Let me kick off … Hijo mentioned crispy prawns in a recent post ...

Last time I made a batter with flour + dash of baking powder, beaten egg, touch of salt and water mixed into a fairly thickish paste.

Coated the prawns generously with batter and dropped them separately into the deep fat fryer on max temperature. They all floated to the top and welded together. Some had stuck to the basket mesh and had to be prised loose with a screwdriver.

The batter was thick and soggy - far from crispy (ie inedible).

Any suggestions please?
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Old 3rd February 2014, 11:54   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Cooking for Dummies

Crispy batter , cornflour and lager , blend it together with a fork , do not smooth it out too much. Same consistency as pi$$ed out wallpaper paste.

Lovely , crisp light batter.

Steve.
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Old 3rd February 2014, 12:29   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Cooking for Dummies

Calabrese and cauliflower florets, raw egg, touch of pepper and salt, whizzed down to a liquid, heated to very warm not boiling and you have a vegetable soup.
Not when I do it though.
It has the consistency of green concrete and tastes the same.
Thats the Wife`s verdict.
I quite like it and its an excellent cure for constipation and superb mulch for the garden plants.
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Old 3rd February 2014, 12:54   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Cooking for Dummies

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Originally Posted by Akasya View Post
Crispy batter , cornflour and lager , blend it together with a fork , do not smooth it out too much. Same consistency as pi$$ed out wallpaper paste.
Lovely , crisp light batter. Steve.
Thanks Steve but we can only get regular wheat flour here
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Old 3rd February 2014, 13:08   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Cooking for Dummies

You can get cornflour here. It's available everywhere they call it corn starch, mısır nişastası is the Turkish name..

Last edited by Number6; 3rd February 2014 at 13:27..
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Old 3rd February 2014, 13:11   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Cooking for Dummies

My attempts weren't always as good as they are now, I remember the first time I tried to do parsnip chips, rolled in breadcrumbs and sprinkle parmesan cheese on the top. I parboiled the parsnips but over cooked them, tried to cut into chip sizes to end up with a load of mush and into the bin they went. We didn't have parsnips that Christmas Day. I once put some eggs on to boil went to watch tv, forgot about them, heard an explosion to be met with the kitchen walls splattered in lumps of egg. Glad to say these mishaps happened eons ago. But, if you don't try, you never learn.
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Old 3rd February 2014, 13:15   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Cooking for Dummies

Cooking really isn`t my forte although I have done what I consider to be a good stew in the past. I took all the screwed up faces to mean my guests were really impressed and enjoying it.
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Old 3rd February 2014, 13:17   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Cooking for Dummies

Tea in the pot, pot on the stove, strike match, turn on gas. Voila.
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Old 3rd February 2014, 13:18   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Cooking for Dummies

Quote:
Originally Posted by kemerkid View Post
Tea in the pot, pot on the stove, strike match, turn on gas. Voila.
Don`t forget a bit of water Pete....
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Old 3rd February 2014, 13:25   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Cooking for Dummies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Number6 View Post
You can get cornflour here. Available everywhere they call it corn starch mısır nişastası is the Turkish name..
Thanks, long way to travel though .. I'm in Ukraine.


PS. Just been given a new recipe for Molotov cocktail - tasted foul!
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