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Old 1st May 2019, 08:50   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Dead Within 13 Years.

I would have thought that by the time 82 arrives, most of one's faculties are aging a bit, or at least not as good as used to be. Of course, your GP will tell you that. The usual comment is "well you are ... yrs old now and you have to expect some problems".

My poor hubby is still in hospital after developing a sudden weakness in his legs causing them to buckle and tip him over when he stands. Loss of power in his arms too means that he cannot lever himself up. After falling in the doorway to the garden (straight onto the concrete), it took me over half an hour to get him on his feet again using a zimmer frame for support. After he fell the full length of the stairs, damaging only his head (forehead bruise), I called the ambulance.

He is gritting his teeth as he wants to come home, but they will not discharge him. Yesterday three physiotherapists came to see him and told me how "anti" he was about trying to stand. I don't suppose any of them have fallen over at least twice a day when standing. As it happens, a doctor arrived yesterday afternoon as well. I had quite a discussion with her about what could be causing this lack of power in all four limbs. She did take it on board when I pointed out that they are only looking at and treating the symptoms and not bothering to look for the cause.

One of the physios said that as hubby has "trouble with the stairs", then we should move his bed downstairs! Pardon? He does not have a "his bed" - only the one we both use. After telling them that we did not have the room downstairs for a bed (and also that we did not own a single bed anyway), they said he must therefore choose whether to sleep downstairs on the sofa, or stay upstairs in bed. Then they came up with a suggestion that he attends a residential course for 3 weeks to "learn" how to walk with "his problem". I could scream! The place this course is at is about 30 miles away. Hardly handy for visiting, although they said I could visit as often as I wanted to.

The doctor has now decided that perhaps they should be doing some more investigative tests, like an ultra sound, CAT scan etc. Shame that he has been in hospital for so long before they arrived at this conclusion. Hubby is also suffering a bit from memory problems and cannot really remember what the doctors say. They have always been before I get there, up to yesterday.

I will not accept that something like this can suddenly occur overnight on it's own without a cause (other than "it's his age you know).

Since going in, he is not eating properly. He says he does not feel hungry. I suppose this is understandable as he is just lying in bed doing the square root of nothing all day. Also just a cup of tea hits his stomach and then reappears, making him more determined not to eat. However, this has produced another problem. He is Type 1 diabetic, so not eating upsets blood sugar levels. The doctor told me that yesterday morning, they had a problem with him as his blood sugar read 1.1 half an hour after they gave him insulin although he did not eat! What did they expect? They are now intimating that he cannot look after his diabetes by himself. FFS - he has been dealing with this for the last 43 years! Longer than most of them have been alive!

I am ranting and raving on a thread which started out as very different. Sorry.

In my case, I can still smell okay, but in any case I intend living to the age of 125 years. Quite a few years ago now the government's pension office contacted me and said that they had been overpaying me on the state pension by about three pounds a week, and they intended to take it back by deductions. As you can imagine, I had a real humdinger of a row with the woman at the other end of the telephone. She was making comments about it not being very much, but refused to pay it to me from her wages if it was an amount not worth bothering about. I told her then that I intended to live to 125 so I could get it all back again!

So I am now going to try and read up somewhere how I can protect my sense of smell in the ensuing future.

Again - sorry about the rant. I do not have anyone to talk to about this except all you nice forum people.

Maisie
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Old 1st May 2019, 09:22   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Dead Within 13 Years.

Best wishes Maisie , am certain your endeavours for him in hospital will bear fruit , keep on keeping on .

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Old 1st May 2019, 13:37   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Dead Within 13 Years.

So sorry to hear your problems Maisie, has anyone considered that your husband may have middle ear problems which can cause difficulty with balance? A friend has developed this, they think due to a minor stroke (transient ischaemic attack, or TIA) and she will fall over if turning, bending or moving too quickly. She is now doing a series of exercises from a hospital physio to retrain her brain to work without the affected part.
I agree they are hopeless at looking for causes and just treat symptoms, which is pathetic. I hope you are able to get some help and sense out of someone.
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Old 2nd May 2019, 01:03   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Dead Within 13 Years.

I don't think it is anything to do with his inner ear, as he does not get dizzy or lose his balance. His legs just start to wobble and they just fold up and he falls.

This afternoon he told me that a doctor had told him they were organising a CAT scan, but this would take about 2 weeks! I don't want to comment on that! However, in the meantime he will have to stay in hospital. Another member of the physio team turned up with a new zimmer frame for him to bring home. As I have said before, we have one of these, but it is a fold up small jobby but no wheels. The one they have brought him today has wheels and is a bit narrower than the one we have. Which is good for getting around the furniture a bit easier.

Tonight I had a telephone call from the hospital at 10.30pm. It seems he has now told the staff he is coming home, "ring my wife and tell her"! Oh blimey! I asked the caller if the doctor had said he can come home (extremely unlikely as he tried to stand this afternoon with his new frame, but collapsed). They said the doctor had not told him and in fact had not even seen him after I left. But he was insisting they call me. What to do now? I told them I would go in tomorrow (oh, it is now tomorrow) morning and try and sort him out. I rather got the impression that he was having a real go at them and was losing his temper. So the nurse said she would ring me. She asked me "what shall I tell him?" I just said that tell him I will be in tomorrow morning and she said she hoped that would calm him down for the night. I haven't heard anything else, so I assume he is placated for the time being. I've got his bus pass and he doesn't have any money with him, so I suppose he would get a taxi and expect me to pay when he gets here.

This is turning into a real nightmare. I don't suppose the hospital staff can physically make him stay there, but he can't walk, silly bugger. I think in the nurse's position, I would have told him to get on with it and go then. How do you get someone sectioned? Although that seems a bit drastic it might be the only way of keeping him there. But what happens then? How do you eventually get someone unsectioned or whatever they call it?

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

Maisie
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Old 2nd May 2019, 05:12   #15 (permalink)
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Re: Dead Within 13 Years.

Oh dear Maisie, I feel for you damned if you do and damned if you don't. I do hope that they get on with the tests and that they throw up something useful to get hubby back on his feet again.
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Old 2nd May 2019, 08:08   #16 (permalink)
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Re: Dead Within 13 Years.

All I am hoping is that when I get there today he is not dressed ready to "go home"! With a bit of luck he might have forgotten about last night.

Sometimes he says such silly things and immediately says that he doesn't know why he said that - whatever it was. Makes it difficult to know whether he knows what he is saying, or if he is rambling.

We'll see.

Maisie
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Old 3rd May 2019, 08:02   #17 (permalink)
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Re: Dead Within 13 Years.

Well - I was right! I got to the hospital and there he was, sitting on the bed fully dressed with his bag packed ready to leave. There was no question that he was not leaving, particularly in view of the fact that he had a "sick bowl" on his lap!

He said that although he remembers packing and dressing, he did not know why he did. He also did not remember asking someone to telephone me. So although he would not get undressed, I unpacked his bag and put everything back where it came from.

Today I have a GP appointment and later on a blood test. I left him a note in his book saying that and adding that I would, therefore, be late in getting there. I left the book open on his over the bed table. Seems to have worked as I did not get a call last night.

The latest is they have put him back on a drip because he is again refusing to eat. His logic says that if he doesn't eat anything, he will not be sick. Okay as far as it goes, but he has got to eat because of the diabetes. It seems also that he refused to have his insulin, for the same reason. No food - no insulin. Except as he knows full well, this is not logical and does not work like that. The doctor came to see him and said that they were going to try and shorten the time to the scan. We'll see.

Whenever something like this happens, the staff are very snappy and tell him that without his meds he will not be able to go home. Although correct, they could be a bit more tactful. I know that he is not right in his thinking at the moment. I have tried to tell the staff but I don't think they believe me. He always sounds so rational!

Having said that, he asked me how many children under 10 were still living in our house! Pardon? Our only son is 55 and has not lived at home for at least 12 years now.

This is getting more difficult. But apparently what does not kill us will make us stronger. Whoever is responsible for that bit of homespun philosophy has, in my opinion, got it wrong.

Maisie
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Old 4th May 2019, 20:19   #18 (permalink)
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Re: Dead Within 13 Years.

This afternoon he wanted to know where his car was. Apart from a few stupid things (like is my bed moving up and down), he seemed okay. However I got a call about an hour ago. It was hubby saying he was with friends across the road (whose name he could not remember) and come and get him. Very odd!

I rang the number back and it was the mobile telephone of the man in the bed opposite in the ward! A nurse spoke to me. It seems they apprehended him walking down the corridor announcing that he was going home. It seems that his "reasoning" behind this is that they are all "trying to trick him".

The nurse said she had got him back to bed and he now has a nurse permanently standing guard over him! What a to do eh? I am out of my depth here as I am beginning not to recognise him. He is so bolshie to everyone - me included. I did ask the nurse if they could get a psych team to have a look at him, but her reply was rather noncommital. Of course it is the weekend now with a bank holiday on Monday.

I'll go in tomorrow and see what awaits my arrival.

Has anyone had any experience of this happening to a close relative? How does one deal with it?

Maisie
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