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Old 15th June 2019, 01:47   #131 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

I will persevere until Tuesday when this person from a home physio team comes to see Dave. Whilst I have threatened him with calling an ambulance I would need him on the floor at the bottom of the stairs before I called.

I have to admit, I don't really know what any carer calling in on a regular basis would actually do. There is certainly no room to walk round the bedroom with or without a zimmer frame. He was managing this before with a walking stick. Downstairs there is a bit more room, but furniture is furniture and for the most part - heavy. There is no future planning when buying furniture. If we worried about furniture being in the way, we would be living out of tea chests and breaking them up to make chairs, tables etc.!

In his current physical state, Dave is not able to use either the shower room or the downstairs bathroom. He went for walks along the corridors in the hospital accompanied by a physio lady and he used a zimmer. He seemed reasonably steady once he had stood up. Now he cannot stand up. His body is too heavy for his legs. I do agree though, that the longer he stays in bed the worse this will become. His arms are very weak also, and he has trouble raising his body enough for me to slide the bed pan under him. I think this is why my muscles are aching - trying to "help" him to raise the important bits from the bed.

He has just called me to say that he needs the bed pan! Here we go again.

Maisie
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Old 15th June 2019, 02:02   #132 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maisie View Post
I will persevere until Tuesday when this person from a home physio team comes to see Dave. Whilst I have threatened him with calling an ambulance I would need him on the floor at the bottom of the stairs before I called.

I have to admit, I don't really know what any carer calling in on a regular basis would actually do. There is certainly no room to walk round the bedroom with or without a zimmer frame. He was managing this before with a walking stick. Downstairs there is a bit more room, but furniture is furniture and for the most part - heavy. There is no future planning when buying furniture. If we worried about furniture being in the way, we would be living out of tea chests and breaking them up to make chairs, tables etc.!

In his current physical state, Dave is not able to use either the shower room or the downstairs bathroom. He went for walks along the corridors in the hospital accompanied by a physio lady and he used a zimmer. He seemed reasonably steady once he had stood up. Now he cannot stand up. His body is too heavy for his legs. I do agree though, that the longer he stays in bed the worse this will become. His arms are very weak also, and he has trouble raising his body enough for me to slide the bed pan under him. I think this is why my muscles are aching - trying to "help" him to raise the important bits from the bed.

He has just called me to say that he needs the bed pan! Here we go again.

Maisie
My experience of Carers coming in twice a day for 30 minutes is mixed
The carers are good at what they will do
Help someone get in/out of bed
Help someone shower or provide them with a bed bath
Help someone go upstairs or downstairs
Cook them something if required
They are let down by the people they work for
Arranging with a carer to come between 08:00am and 10:00 and they turning up at 13:00 because their controller switched them to another appointment Not acceptable.
Turning up at 21:30 night time wanting access to your landline as that the way they report their visit and get paid when they should have turned up at between 17:00 and 19:00 Not acceptable
A one off occurrence I could accept but this happened on a regular basis
My local council has washed their Hands of all responsibility and state on their website any issues or complaints should be taken up with the care company that is providing the care The council will not handled or deal with any complaints on this subject.
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Old 15th June 2019, 02:19   #133 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maisie View Post
I will persevere until Tuesday when this person from a home physio team comes to see Dave. Whilst I have threatened him with calling an ambulance I would need him on the floor at the bottom of the stairs before I called.

I have to admit, I don't really know what any carer calling in on a regular basis would actually do. There is certainly no room to walk round the bedroom with or without a zimmer frame. He was managing this before with a walking stick. Downstairs there is a bit more room, but furniture is furniture and for the most part - heavy. There is no future planning when buying furniture. If we worried about furniture being in the way, we would be living out of tea chests and breaking them up to make chairs, tables etc.!

In his current physical state, Dave is not able to use either the shower room or the downstairs bathroom. He went for walks along the corridors in the hospital accompanied by a physio lady and he used a zimmer. He seemed reasonably steady once he had stood up. Now he cannot stand up. His body is too heavy for his legs. I do agree though, that the longer he stays in bed the worse this will become. His arms are very weak also, and he has trouble raising his body enough for me to slide the bed pan under him. I think this is why my muscles are aching - trying to "help" him to raise the important bits from the bed.

He has just called me to say that he needs the bed pan! Here we go again.

Maisie
Ambulance crews are well experienced of getting someone out from tight spaces and have tools such as stretchers or a portable light lifting chair that they strapped someone into and then they just lift.

It does sound like your husband is 2 weak to use a zimmer frame as you need to have some muscle in the arms and upper torso to lift and move the zimmer frame forward.

if the hospital is claming he is medically fit upon readmission they are more than likely to send him to a community hospital for physio until he can stand and walk on the discharge documents the normal requirement is 20 metres either unaided or aided with a zimmer frame
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Old 15th June 2019, 09:37   #134 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Dear Maisie firstly WELL DONE you, I have been following your dreadful tale, Im in awe of you hope you dont mind me saying just two things.... I want to say I used to work in a care home as a HCA Health Care Assistant, I only know the basics, just keep an eye out for the bed sores as being in bed for long periods can cause bed sores and they can turn very nasty, I read Dave has already suffered in hospital with them,we used to turn our residents to help avoid them,but even then that was not enough sometimes,also air mattress were used,although again I read Dave had one of those in the hospital and could not get on with it, hopefully Dave is moving around abit in bed so hopefully they wont break out again, secondly we had kylies on the beds, not these exact ones this is just and example, so you would see what Im on about https://www.nrshealthcare.co.uk/heal...kylie-bed-pads which saved on the laundering a bit, I did read you are using the puppy training things but Im just thinking these maybe more suitable and reusable as they can be laundered.
These are only suggestions Maisie I really take my hat off to you for how well you have dealt with everything.
I do wonder if maybe Dave should be home quite yet,it is an awful lot for you to deal with, whatever the outcome on Tuesday,
I wish both Dave and yourself all the very best,take care of yourself Maisie
Mo xx
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Old 15th June 2019, 09:50   #135 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

I have been digging about in our shed and have found an item which is useful. That is an extremely large, bonded thinnish plastic sheet. It is very soft because of it's intended use as a groundsheet under a picnic blanket to sit on the ground. I use it on the floor when I am defrosting the top box on our fridge. It must have a thin layer of foam between the two sides, because it stays fairly flat on the bed.

I have done the changing bit twice already today, once when he woke me up at five to six this morning and just done another change. I didn't go out yesterday, I was aching too much. Got to go today though as the pants are getting low. Funny how you learn when you have to. I have found it much easier and cleaner to cut the pants off rather than trying to take them down the legs. Silly thing, but I was chuffed at that!

Maisie
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Old 15th June 2019, 14:37   #136 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Thinking of you and hoping for a good outcome on Tuesday.
How good are you at acting? Maybe if you were to throw a complete tantrum and meltdown you would get some response.
I remember a case where a desperate housewife actually held a repairman hostage to get a satisfactory outcome after a string of useless visits. Not that I would suggest anything of the sort. . . .
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Old 15th June 2019, 16:15   #137 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

I'll try anything once! I have before been able to give the impression that I am on the point of a complete breakdown - complete with flowing tears. Funny, now though, I can't remember who I was trying to convince. But Dave said that if he hadn't known better he would have thought it was real. I was on the telephone to someone. Ah! Just remembered. It was when I had an ulcer on my leg and new dressings were coming by the pharmacy courier. Only he didn't turn up! Apparently he said he had come and not got an answer. Lying toad! Still, the histrionics worked as the pharmacist hurriedly told me he would come with them in person.

I will have to play it by ear. But I hope this Julie is not similar to the social worker, whom I hate with a passion now.

I've just got back from shopping. My back is killing me but Dave again needed changing. I bought some jam donuts which Dave likes. I made him a cup of tea and he is actually eating! Allah be praised! He's going all maudlin on me now saying that he doesn't think he will ever recover his muscle and strength. He reckons he is just going to "fade away". Not on my watch he bloody well isn't!

We were reading about the TV licence business. Don't know if this will happen again that we have to pay. We have been enjoying the viewing since Dave turned 75. Of course, I did tell him at the time that he had better live until I got to 75 so that I could "take over" not paying! I suppose they will start on the free bus passes next.

Maisie
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Old 15th June 2019, 16:20   #138 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kanga View Post
Thinking of you and hoping for a good outcome on Tuesday.
How good are you at acting? Maybe if you were to throw a complete tantrum and meltdown you would get some response.
I remember a case where a desperate housewife actually held a repairman hostage to get a satisfactory outcome after a string of useless visits. Not that I would suggest anything of the sort. . . .
Desperate times call for desperate measures, I like your thinking on this problem Kanga.

Oh Maisie, the hospital have really messed you & Dave about . They have Not followed NHS rules & regs regarding discharge procedures for Dave or yourself!.

I hope the Physio person not only turns up (long story...) but realises how unacceptable is the position they have put you & Dave in & then contacts the agencies necessary to ensure you both receive the care & help you need.

I know it's even more difficult for you now, but please try to get hold of a solicitor asap to get the POA Health & Finance for Dave done & signed off. After reading this debacle I fear you will shortly need the protection a POA affords both of you against the wishes, demands of others.

I wholeheartedly agree with other posters that you should urgently involve your GP, on Monday, don't wait for Tuesday!. The surgery should also be able to give you the District Nurse contact details, as well as getting the Dr out to see you both asap.

The letter to your MP & others can wait for now, use your energy in getting help for you & Dave first!

Best wishes xx

PS: was typing when you posted Maisie, that's the spirit, you go girl!
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Old 15th June 2019, 18:55   #139 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

I know Dave doesnít want strangers in the house but you need and are entitled to a **** load more help.
My mum lived with us for a few months and being quite canny laid it on really thickly as to the help she needed! It worked!
Have you no friends or neighbours who could help with shopping or the garden?
Iím sure your friends on TLF would help if in a position to. Do your neighbours know what you are going through? Donít be too proud. Ask! If they arenít interested you arenít any worse off.
Take care. You have a lot of people thinking of you on this site.
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Old 15th June 2019, 20:20   #140 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Nice thought - neighbours. One side there is no-one, we are the last house. The other side the house is divided into two flats. Don't know who lives upstairs, there is a constant stream of people going in (two bedrooms? how do they manage?). Downstairs are a newly married couple with a young baby. He has borrowed every gardening tool imaginable from us and believe it or not managed to bend the tines on a stainless steel fork!

The only other person, is a single girl who lives in a flat opposite and works all hours as a cleaner, as she has a young daughter and autistic son.

Yes, Monday morning I will ring and ask a doctor to call me back. Unfortunately this is the only way to get a home visit. After explaining what is wrong they either say someone is coming out or, if warranted, they put a prescription in the pharmacy next door to be collected.

Last time this happened a lovely lady doctor came out complete with all sorts of things to do various tests. However, she took one look at him and said hospital now! She rang for the ambulance.

Maisie
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