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Old 12th February 2020, 07:27   #931 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maisie View Post
Yes. But I don't know how successful that would be. Look at what happened when I eventually went to PALS? Nothing!

Also, of course, I am concerned that any outside intervention would only make the situation worse.

Juliet's son who was briefly in the same ward, has told Mark and Juliet that the way Dave is being treated is appalling. He has seen and heard things that I have not as he has been there all the time. He has now been discharged. Shame Dave can't follow suit!

Maisie
All the more reason to 1) involve your M.P. 2) get a secret camera installed.
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Old 12th February 2020, 08:20   #932 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Juliet is doing a secret party for Mark tonight. I expect Phil will be there, so I can ask him what exactly he saw. I know it doesn't make a lot of difference, but his is another point of view.

Maisie
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Old 12th February 2020, 09:15   #933 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Before i placed a covert camera in a property i did not own i would seek legal advice , with respect to previous poster .

Steve
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Old 12th February 2020, 10:40   #934 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Quote:
Before i placed a covert camera in a property i did not own i would seek legal advice , with respect to previous poster .
I agree however in the link below it states one could be taken to a civil court, that tends to say to me that it is not illegal but `company policy`.
Does policy trump the law?

I believe in many if not all instances it is not the act of taking video but what you actually do with it that constitutes legal or illegal.

https://www.whatdotheyknow.com/reque...02016.pdf.html
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Old 12th February 2020, 17:40   #935 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Forward a link to this thread to your MP, it would be far more effective than just talking.
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Old 12th February 2020, 19:10   #936 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Given some of the recent posts the last thing I would recommend is to forward this thread to your MP

If your to contact your MP don't make threats to the hospital that your going to do it as you have make similar noises in the past and nothing has happen

I think when you last sent a letter to PALS it was in reference to Social Services doing a DOLS test without your knowledge. I suspect what Social Services do or not do is outside the remit of PALS.

If you decided to involved your MP write an email subject title
FORMAL COMPLAINT NHS number Dave xxxx Hospital Name and Ward Name
Letter should contain a summary of your issues and a number of bullet points listing your issues from worse case downwards
Find out the complaints email address of the Clinical Commissioning Group that the Hospital comes under
and copy PALS in again if the complaints and issues are Hospital related

Once you have an email or letter exchange going with your MP you can discuss with them if you have an issues regarding Social Services seperately

Its my opinion that any complaint made will not make any difference to how Dave is treated , you will be treated different Ward staff will whisper that the one that made the complaint, no more social chats for the Ward staff as soon as you arrive until you leave.
I always carried 2 dictaphones which were voice actived a cheapo one and an
olympus one.
While I was visiting one of my relatives I witnessed a Ward Nurse bullying a elderly woman with Dementia that was in the bed across from my relative
I reported the bullying to my MP and CCG and according to them they carried out a Full investigation and found no case no answer which is 100% ****e as they never asked any additional information from me regarding what the bullying was as there are many different types of bullying and without knowing the details I find it amazing they carried out a Full investigation and found no case to answer
I did run into problems with the MP's staff stating that they weren't sure that they could handle the complaint regarding the woman in the next bed as they needed to know was the woman a constituent of the MP I advised my MP's staff that the MP didn't seem to have an issue with raising issues on behalf of people living in different countries Anyways advise staff member to contact my MP informing them that I had audio recordings and next stop was Sky news and yes I recorded all voice calls between myself and my MP office for training and quality purposes

If you decide to complain or not is a personal decision which only you and your family should decide its always a difficult decision and it will linger later on in life if you complain will it make a difference Damm if you do Damm if you don't I wouldn't listen to anyone including me on this forum Decide what you think is best for Dave and your family All the Best

Last edited by esb1841; 12th February 2020 at 20:19..
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Old 13th February 2020, 07:22   #937 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

We were advised by the local constabulary a few years ago, that we could not place a camera in our porch to cover the pavement/Dave's car. Apparently we would be breaking the law if we filmed people without their knowledge. This was following the second time in two months that Dave had had three tyres slashed. Okay, but we wanted to see (hopefully) who was carrying out this criminal damage to Dave's tyres. The problem would have been that we filmed 'passersby as well'. However, we were told that we could aim a camera to cover our own property with no problem, so long as we put up notices informing would be trespassers that the camera was there. Pretty useless when the car was parked in the road! So I would have assumed this 'rule' covered the hospital also. I know people do install these cameras, but they are in their own property.

Yesterday Dave was again refusing to eat. I have decided that I am not going to argue with him any more. If he eats, he does. If not, he is hastening his own end. I have told him this many times, but his brain cannot process this, or doesn't want to.

I changed him three times yesterday, and the bed twice. Again, there does not seem to be any improvement in the frequency of this.

Phil was not at the party last night. Mark was very surprised, especially when Juliet produced a huge birthday cake, covered with sweeties! Mark has inherited my sweet tooth and loves his sweeties!

I am not going in today, but I left a large note stuck to the back of the armchair to this effect. Hopefully this will stop the staff telling Dave that I am on my way in, which they do. I saw this last year when Dave was in a general ward. They kept telling one chap his wife was 'on her way', when it wasn't true. She only visited once or twice a week, but he looked for her every day. Wandering out in the corridor looking. So I do know how Dave must feel when I have impressed upon him that I will not be there and the staff confuse him by saying I will be there later. Just not fair.

After making a lot of fuss, I was informed that 'a doctor' had looked at the infected sore on Dave's leg. Apparently, this comes under the jurisdiction of a specialist 'team', and we are now awaiting their visit. Why they can't just clean it and apply a dressing I don't know. It will be a bit late when the infection has crept up his leg!

My legs continue to be a huge problem, literally! I asked the pharmacist on Monday about some pills I had seen an advert for, Wonder Legs. I showed him the article. He was very non-committal and said he hadn't heard of them. As the advert specifically mentioned poor circulation (which the last diagnosis said I am suffering from), I decided to go ahead anyway. I purchased Boots' own version of these which were about 50% cheaper, but contain the same ingredients. They were offering three for two, so I got a good deal and now have three months' supply. Long enough to see if they are going to work. I am now on day three. I am also going through the tubes of Eurax like it is being discontinued! Need to get some more today. It does actually work and stops the awful itching. Not for ever, but for a good few hours.

At the moment, it looks as though I might not be going out today. The rain is coming down as though from a hose pipe. The wind is still very strong as well. I don't know if the storm has cleared, or if we are still experiencing some of it. My TV has been pixelating on every channel since the storm started. So I hope it doesn't last much longer.

I will see Dave tomorrow. Juliet said that as they finish work early, they will also go in and see Dave. As it is Valentine's Day, I have got him a few bits and pieces that he will probably moan about, but it will be something different.

Oh. I got the book about speaking to Alzheimer's patients. It does make a lot of sense. I am going to have to employ some of the recommendations, particularly with regard to flights of fantasy!

Maisie
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Old 15th February 2020, 10:51   #938 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Dave was in a bad mood yesterday - again. Wouldn't eat anything, just wanted to be left alone. He moaned when they came for his blood pressure, temperature and blood level test. But all got done.

I changed him twice. They were concerned that he hadn't had a wee since the early hours, and did two bladder scans. They were considering a catheter. But in the end, he went before they got around to it. I took him some valentine's bits and pieces, but he wasn't interested. They had taken some blood for lab testing the day before yesterday and came in yesterday with one unit of blood. There was to be a second one. I left before the first one had finished. This was going in through the ankle cannula, and he moaned about that. It is getting to the stage where he moans about everything and, more worryingly, everybody. He is quite rude to the staff, who tell me not to worry, they are used to it. That's as maybe, but it doesn't make it any easier to listen to.

Eating is now becoming a big issue. I asked if he could go back to the original menu I wrote out for him as I feel these softer option meals are too repetitive, being only three varieties to choose from. When this has to cover two meal a day, I also might stop eating. Too samey by far. Whether or not the meals can be changed, I don't know. I'll have to see if anything happens today.

Maisie
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Old 15th February 2020, 19:36   #939 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Once again today - his lunch was cold on his bed table. He was asleep. Also on the ledge by the door was a plate with a buttered piece of toast on it, not touched.

I know Alzheimer's can cause disruption to eating and appetite in general, so I am saying nothing now. Let him get on with it. I have tried too many time and been verbally abused too many times. There is only so much I can put up with.

I was changing him today when a nurse came in to give him his insulin. Level at 27.8, too high to ignore although not eating. She gave him the shot in the arm whilst I was wiping his backside! Finesse or what? Anyway, Dave had started leaking faeces (runny as water), into the new pad I had not had time to secure around him yet. The nurse asked me if I had considered asking the doctor for a colostomy bag! She also asked me if he had had diarrhoea 'before coming into hospital'. The mind boggles! These people do not know what day it is I am sure. Why did she think he was there? Probably diabetes - which no-one has been able to do anything about over the last 43 years.

As regards a colostomy bag, I rather think 'the doctor' should suggest this - not me. But I do not feel this is the answer. They still have to come up with a plausible reason why this continues, with no abatement.

He said just before I left that he thought he needed changing again. I told one of the HCAs, who said they would deal with it.

Not going in tomorrow.

Maisie
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Old 18th February 2020, 09:57   #940 (permalink)
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Re: My Bolshie Husband

Yesterday, lunch again going cold on the table. I am getting fed up with this. However, there was a very nice HCA lady there cajoling him in the hope that he started eating. I told her to leave him alone. If he wants to starve himself to death, then let him. I think this pulled him up a bit, because he asked us to sit him up and he would 'have a try' at eating. We did and he ate virtually all of the lunch. He then ate a pot of chocolate custard and drank a meal replacement drink. So far so good.

I asked the HCA about getting hm swapped back on to the regular menu. She said she would ask. It seems that I have to ask for something about nineteen times before anything happens! I am not sure that he would eat if we swapped him back, but the food is a bit more appetising and there is much more variety of meals, so it is worth trying. I will just have to keep hammering this to all and sundry.

I asked for a doctor to come and look at his leg. Miraculously a lady doctor appeared. I told her that I was concerned about the sore on his leg where the cannula had been and which, when the cannula was removed last week, started weeping pus. Of course, by now it has healed over. But the skin surrounding it is getting very red. She did quite a bit of poking and prodding and said that she didn't think there was a problem. The red was the body trying to heal. In Dave's case, because of the diabetes, healing takes much longer than in a non-diabetic. This I understand. But I don't want to get confronted with the fact that the infection has now spread, it is now gangrene and the leg will have to come off. "What a pity we didn't see it sooner". Being safer rather than sorry I feel.

I asked her when he could leave. I said that although he was diabetic and it was out of control - nothing new there. So 'forget' the diabetes and treat it as usual, 'cure' the diarrhoea and then he can leave. She took the point that they were never going to get anywhere with the sugar levels. It is about time someone acknowledged this! She said that she would consult with the gastro department and see if we could get some conclusions. I asked about cutting out the section of intestine that is causing the problem, giving him a colostomy bag until healed, and then swapping back. She said that whilst this was obviously an answer, they would only do this if the intestine ruptured or gave signs of rupturing. The reason being that the operation takes about four hours and Dave is too fragile to consider this as elective.

When the pills came round, there was a little sachet of granules. This is the same stuff as the pills that were going right through him. Although the pills were stopped, it was thought that these granules (which supposedly melt in the mouth - they don't) might help. I changed him once. I must say the contents of the pants was less than usual. Although the HCA said that he was in a bit of a state in the morning at breakfast time. I assume this was after some hours in the night and was not, therefore, unexpected. The nurse with the drugs trolley said that they had started him on these granules on Friday. This I did not know.

I also did not know the they have put a new cannula in his left foot. On the top near his toes. I am amazed that he didn't remember to tell me, as it must have been very painful. Only put in yesterday morning (they write the date on the sticky stuff). It was not in use, so why I don't know. The doctor didn't know either! So now he has both feet with a cannula in them.

He asked me yesterday why I bothered going in as 'you don't care about me'. It is difficult to answer this. I can swerve suggestions, but direct questions are harder. I told him that I went in because I care, and he just said "huh".

He wanted to know yesterday who had taken his shoes. Never had any there. He has given up asking about the blue jacket. However, the second metal straw I took him in has now disappeared. I went to the kitchen to see but, naturally, no-one knew anything about it. Why am I not surprised?

Maisie
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Last edited by Maisie; 18th February 2020 at 10:02..
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