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Old 11th October 2013, 23:53   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Continuation of my turkish story

Hello everyone !

Due to some personal reasons, I haven't been active on the forum recently, yet, I've really missed it.
I want to post some updates about an old story of mine that has started one year ago (General facts about turkish men)
Well, few days back, I went to Istanbul for 1 week to meet the same guy. A lot of things happened during that period (unfortunately, I can't tell every single detail, otherwise I will need pages and pages)
Anyway, at a simple tourist level, I could visit too many beautiful places in Istanbul along with him. It's true that spending all that time with a turkish person facilitated my stay and allowed me to know some new interesting things about turkish culture
Now let's move to more serious things : All this year, I have been wondering about our real relationship and whether he really was what he has been pretending to be. So, this trip was a real opportunity for me to try to answer to some of these questions.

I don't know if it's (again) general or not, but he has told me once that when I'll come to Turkey, he will introduce me to his small family which I really appreciated -not because I'm already considering them as my future family-in-law but mainly as a part of my desire to know more turkish people and his family would be the perfect "sample" of turkish families). But after this, he told me that his family was a bit conservative and that he can't introduce any "girl" to them unless there will be something official with her. In fact, I was quite disappointed, but anyway...
In general, I've got to know him more during the week. Yes, it has passed so fast and I wished I could stay more, but deep inside, I knew "something was wrong" : We both belong to a relatively conservative muslim societies with lot of beliefs in common, but I know this is not enough to say we're born for each other. However, for me, I still want to know him more and I told him this, his answer was "Me too" but only God knows if it's true or not

To sum-up, I admit that since I met him 1 year ago, I have been really confused about us, shall we go further ? Is he ready ? Will it work ? Or does he even really love me ?
How I wish I had 100% true clear answers...

There is something that I'm positive about : I'm still loving turkey even more than before. I have completely felt in love with this country (maybe partly because of him). Plus, now I'm better in turkish language and my real big dream is to work and live there someday.

I really need advices from more experiented people. No one can really help me here and I'm feeling I'm alone in the middle of all this.
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Old 12th October 2013, 08:29   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Continuation of my turkish story

No one can help you here , you need to live your own life.

One observation. It is not a story , it is your life , do not treat it as a journalistic exercise.

Steve.
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Old 12th October 2013, 08:53   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Continuation of my turkish story

I'm afraid that with experience of a year or so you are not really in a position to understand "General Facts about Turkish Men". Some on here (and elsewhere) have spent considerably longer with them and still are not in a position to judge or even understand!

If you want to visit the country and gain an insight into Turkish culture and history a guided tour might the the best and safest option.

I feel a sense of deja vu here
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Old 12th October 2013, 09:17   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Continuation of my turkish story

There is a web site called Turkish Love this is for women married or in a relationship with Turkish Men may be of help to you. Understanding Turkish men forget it you need a lifetime then some and also a good circle of friends to vent with.
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Old 12th October 2013, 09:19   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Continuation of my turkish story

Come on Carolyn , is there a guy on here , who even after a lifetime of trying can say he understand women. lol

Mars and Venus , then throw in the hormonal , chemical , biological and societal varia and all else is explained , not.

Steve.
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Old 12th October 2013, 10:12   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Continuation of my turkish story

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Originally Posted by Akasya View Post
Come on Carolyn , is there a guy on here , who even after a lifetime of trying can say he understand women. lol

Mars and Venus , then throw in the hormonal , chemical , biological and societal varia and all else is explained , not.

Steve.
Very true Steve but I do think that generally we sing from the same hymn sheet, even if the words are different!!
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Old 12th October 2013, 13:34   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Continuation of my turkish story

'We both belong to a relatively conservative muslim societies with lot of beliefs in common,'
Either this is not a real person or it is, either way if the above is true then quite frankly you should know better and therefore my advice is COP YOUR SELF ON.

If a man wants to marry you he will hunt you down till he gets you and not put you in a 'shameful' position like this and dishonour your family. So you should know better.

Do I agree with these sentiments, no I dont but at least I understand the culture so no niqab then what are you doing. Start running now because this is already a disaster. another time you will find someone else who will respect you but not now.

Take your 'hurt and grief' and do some volunteer work with some of the women's organisations which help girls as young as 8 or girls who are considered to have reached puberty (14). Make things better for women within your beliefs and help them set up suitable supports in keeping with your beliefs.

Live your life and make a difference, good luck
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